Independence Day

I am proud to be an American I only wish I as a gay man had the same rights as other Americans maybe someday soon my wish will come true and I will have my Independence Day!

Happy 4th to all Americans!



This is a prefect way to spend 4th of July!

Photo from Chadzboyz

Me & Mikey would like to wish everyone a happy and safe weekend and we will return after the 4th of July. Thanks for all that helps with this blog and to all that read it.

Pentagon says homosexuality not a mental disorder

The Pentagon no longer deems homosexuality a mental disorder, officials said on Wednesday, although the reversal has no impact on U.S. policy prohibiting openly gay people from serving in the military.

After a 1996 Pentagon document placing homosexuality among a list of "certain mental disorders" came to light this month, the American Psychiatric Association and a handful of lawmakers asked the Defense Department to change its view.

The Pentagon said in a statement: "Homosexuality should not have been characterized as a mental disorder in an appendix of a procedural instruction. A clarification will be issued over the next few days."

"Notwithstanding its inclusion, we find no practical impact since that appendix simply listed factors that do not constitute a physical disability, and homosexuality of course does not," the Pentagon added.

See the rest of the story here

How can they claim it isn't a disorder anymore, yet still not let gays serve openly in the military? 726 military personnel have been discharged for 'coming out' in the military -- it's so wrong :(

Suicide Temptations...

Story from Chadzboyz

I am a 31 y/o gay male and have lived through a terrible childhood. I have horrible childhood memories as I was always shunned at school because I was different. I always new I was different from the time I started school, but never understood what the reasons were.

When I was in elementary school, one winter we were visiting my grandparents and I was playing with one of my cousins baby dolls and my mother told me I should not be playing with dolls because I was a little boy. She told me to go in the bathroom, pull down my pants and look for my self. While playing with the doll I didn't see where I was doing anything wrong. I was being gentle and loving to the baby doll like it was a real baby. How could this all be conceived as being wrong. Is the reason being because I am a boy and boys are not supposed to love? I was so confused and depressed by this time in my life I knew something had to change. I would pray to God every night and ask him to please help me fit in to life like all the other kids in the world. Why was I the only kid not fitting in?

When I was in the 6th grade we had a sex education class at school and at that time I had finally understood why I was so different from the other children. I had fears that you could never imagine. I decided I had to live the rest of my life by living a lie. How could anyone fully understand my thoughts and concerns if I couldn't understand them? I went on to Jr. High and made a few friends with a couple of girls that would have fought tooth or nail to protect me. No, they didn't know I was gay and I was not going to tell them. I was constantly being asked if I were a "FAG" by my other classmates and I would lie. The hurtful names were not just "FAG" but others such as Fudge packer, sissy boy, mama's boy, girlie, boy lover, etc. All the names cut through my heart, as I had not done anything wrong. I had never been with a boy or man.

I finally made it to High School and couldn't stand the thought of starting another new school. I had no self -esteem and just wanted to die. My older sister also attended the same school and would stick up for me any chance she could, but would she have stuck up for me if she new I were Gay? I could not tell her. How would I deal with not having a sister be there for me? I was already alone in this world with no where to turn. I remember when I was a freshman she wanted a boy to send her flowers, so on her birthday I sent her a dozen red roses and just signed the card from an admirer. Needless to say I made her day and let her believe a classmate of hers sent them to her. I never hung around my sister and her friends while in school because she had her circle of friends and I feared that if I interfered she might lose them because of having a gay brother.

I had decided to take a drama class so maybe I could learn how to act straight, because apparently people could tell in my actions. I met a girl and she became a good friend. I tried dating her, but things just didn't work out as I was miserable in the relationship. She had a gay friend and she accepted him with all her heart. I still could not open up to her. I had been conditioned for so long that gays are so bad I could never admit that I was gay to anyone.

Day by day I became more and more depressed and suicidal, all I wanted was to have someone understand me, but I knew no one could, because I heard all the other students talk so bad about homosexuals, FAGS, Sissy's etc. I had never heard one good thing about homosexuals.

When I turned 21 my female friend from high school and her gay friend had taken me to my first GAY BAR. I was in heaven. All these men seemed so happy. They all accepted themselves and were having so much fun. I knew I could never live that life as I was raised in the First Church of God based out of Anderson Indiana. I would try to build my self up from Monday – Saturday and try to make my self happy and then on Sunday I would go to church and be knocked back down to the ground. The next day I would start to build myself up and work on myself all week and start feeling a little better and then I would go to church on Sunday and they would knock me back down again. I was really getting tired of the roller coaster of life and decided to end it all.

On October 15, 1991 I had arranged to take my life. I had decided I was going to take some pills and go to bed that night and never have to deal with life again. Anything had to be better than the hell I was living through on a daily basis. I had called my female friend from High School to tell her good bye and asked if she could take my cat and give him a good home. She said she wanted to talk to me and asked if she could come pick me up and we could take a ride somewhere . I agreed and we went to a park and sat there for 3 hours talking. She had told me she knew I was gay and wanted me to know she loved me very much and she could not live without me in her life. For the first time in my life someone had reach out to me and showed me unconditional love. I thank God everyday because I would not be here today if he hadn't sent me that Guardian Angel to be by my side at the lowest time in my life.

MySpace Bulletin: "Sanctity" of marriage

Republicans that want to protect the institution of marriage...


Ronald Reagan - divorced the mother of two of his children to
marry Nancy Reagan, who bore him a daughter only 7 months after the marriage.

Bob Dole - divorced the mother of his child, who had nursed him through the long recovery from his war wounds.

Newt Gingrich - divorced his wife who was dying of cancer.

Dick Armey - House Majority Leader - divorced

Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas - divorced

Gov. John Engler of Michigan - divorced

Gov. Pete Wilson of California - divorced

George Will - divorced

Sen. Lauch Faircloth - divorced

Rush Limbaugh - Rush and his current wife Marta have six marriages and four divorces between them.

Rep. Bob Barr of Georgia - Barr, not yet 50 years old, has been married three times. Barr had the audacity to author and push the "Defense of Marriage Act." The current joke making the rounds on Capitol Hill is "Bob Barr...WHICH marriage are you defending?!?

Sen. Alfonse D'Amato of New York - divorced

Sen. John Warner of Virginia - divorced (once married to Liz Taylor.)

Gov. George Allen of Virginia - divorced

Henry Kissinger - divorced

Rep. Helen Chenoweth of Idaho - divorced

Sen. John McCain of Arizonia - divorced

Rep. John Kasich of Ohio - divorced

Rep. Susan Molinari of New York - Republican National Convention Keynote Speaker - divorced

So ... homosexuals are going to destroy the institution of marriage? Wait a minute, it seems the Christian Heterosexual Republicans are doing a fine job without anyone's help!



If you have a MySpace profile, you should know perfectly how I got this message. A long-time friend of mine posted this bulletin and instead of reposting it for others in my friend's list may see the message, I decided to publish it here.

By they way, I want to officially welcome all the new bloggers. I have not been able to update anything so excuse me for the belated greeting from my part.

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Good news

Well guess more and more countries are trying to pass the Gay Right Bills, and according to news from Olympia, Gay rights bill may be just the start. And in another news from Bermuda, Renee Webb of the Progressive Labor Party will be making the second proposal to pass the GaY Rights Bill. Isn't this a good news?

More and more countries are no longer discriminating homosexuals. Why should we, homosexuals be discriminated? Does being gay distort our professionalism in our work? I will say NO! Being a gay is listed under mental illness but it was proved to be a mistake. And being gay is only our preferences, and nothing's affected. So why does we homosexuals get such a serious rejection in the society? Let's hear your opinion on it.

Remember Turing

As an engineer I'm favourably impressed by the work of Alan Turing. I mention this today, because he was born on this date in 1912.

Alan Turing was a pioneer in the world of computers and artificial intelligence. He was cryptanalyst during WWII for the British Government at Bletchley Park, where he devised a machine that decoded enemy transmissions. Before the war he had postulated a universal mathematical machine, now called the Turing Machine, which became a prototype for the electronic computer.

In 1952, Turing was convicted of acts of gross indecency after admitting to a sexual relationship with a man in Manchester. He was required to undergo hormone therapy. Two years later, Alan Turing committed suicide by eating an apple laced with cyanide.

Some people say that Alan Turing killed himself for being gay. I would say he did it because of how he was treated for being gay.

Read more about Turing's prosecution for homosexual acts.

Newbies

We have a couple of newbies who join this blog and more to come soon. Remember newbies feel free to write what you want here when you want.

Look forward to seeing your first post!

The Newbies

Aron
Roque
Joe

Stop by there blogs tell them hi!



Keep the Pride Alive not only this Month but all Year!

Pentagon Lists Homosexuality As Disorder

WASHINGTON — A Pentagon document classifies homosexuality as a mental disorder, decades after mental health experts abandoned that position.
The document outlines retirement or other discharge policies for service members with physical disabilities, and in a section on defects lists homosexuality alongside mental retardation and personality disorders.

Critics said the reference underscores the Pentagon's failing policies on gays, and adds to a culture that has created uncertainty and insecurity around the treatment of homosexual service members, leading to anti-gay harassment.

Pentagon spokesman Lt. Col. Jeremy M. Martin said the policy document is under review.

The Pentagon has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy that prohibits the military from inquiring about the sex lives of service members but requires discharges of those who openly acknowledge being gay.

The Center for the Study of Sexual Minorities in the Military, at the University of California at Santa Barbara, uncovered the document and pointed to it as further proof that the military deserves failing grades for its treatment of gays.

Nathaniel Frank, senior research fellow at the center, said, "The policy reflects the department's continued misunderstanding of homosexuality and makes it more difficult for gays and lesbians to access mental health services."

The document, called a Defense Department Instruction, was condemned by medical professionals, members of Congress and other experts, including the American Psychiatric Association.

"It is disappointing that certain Department of Defense instructions include homosexuality as a 'mental disorder' more than 30 years after the mental health community recognized that such a classification was a mistake," said Rep. Marty Meehan, D-Mass.

Congress members noted that other Pentagon regulations dealing with mental health do not include homosexuality on any lists of psychological disorders. And in a letter to Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on Monday, nine lawmakers asked for a full review of all documents and policies to ensure they reflect that same standard.

"Based on scientific and medical evidence the APA declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder in 1973 — a position shared by all other major health and mental health organizations based on their own review of the science," James H. Scully Jr., head of the psychiatric association, said in a letter to the Defense Department's top doctor earlier this month.

There were 726 military members discharged under the "don't ask, don't tell" policy during the budget year that ended last Sept. 30. That marked the first year since 2001 that the total had increased. The number of discharges had declined each year since it peaked at 1,227 in 2001, and had fallen to 653 in 2004.

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

On the Net

I found this on the net catching up of some news.

http://www.topix.net/news/gay

The people speak: Fight gays; get activist judges off the bench

It would seem that there are far more important things to concern ourselves with than trying to save those who refuse to be saved.

Of course, I refer to President Bush’s insistence upon legislating morality to the so-called “gays.” That statement in itself may sound more than just a little uncaring. It wasn’t intended to be so.

We can talk until we are blue in the face, but the folks who insist on paving and greasing the road to hell will have their way. God gives every one of us a choice.

I’m talking about those who want to live the homosexual lifestyle.

They obviously aren’t Christian because there are countless Scriptures that tell us that this is an abomination.

There are far too many souls going down the wrong path who are willing to listen and may actually have a desire to be persuaded to give up their lifestyle. These are the ones who Jesus was talking about when he said in Matthew 9:37, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few...”

The ones that he referred to just a few verses later in Matthew 10:14, “Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet,” represents a solemn message to those who reject God’s message. Unless they come to their senses, they are condemned to eternal damnation.

Let’s face it, morality will not be legislated. Gays will be gays even though they know what their destiny will be.

However, we can attempt to get rid of our liberal, activist judges who legislate from the bench. We can more closely monitor our classrooms and school boards to ascertain that we don’t have homosexuals spreading their filth to our children.

Paul G. Becker
Webbers Falls

Facts & Quotes...

NOTE: The following is a response to a bulletin posted at myspace.com regarding gay marriage and "alternative" lifestyles in general. It seemed worthy of re-posting here.

...FOR IT! Here are some facts and quotes; view them as you will:

-- Homosexuality is prevalent in nature.

"Homosexuality is exceedingly common in nature. Female cats housed separately from males display all the behavior patterns of homosexual arousal. Wild female gulls sometimes mate as lesbian couples. Male gorillas band together and exhibit homosexuality. Female pygmy chimpanzees have regular homosexual interactions. In fact, homosexuality is so common in other species-- and it occurs in such a variety of circumstances-- that human homosexuality is striking not in its prevalence, but in its rarity."
- Dr. Helen Fisher, Anatomy of Love

-- Not all gays and lesbians look or act the same. Not all gay men, for instance, are effeminate or flamboyant. In fact, many aren't, not that there's anything wrong with flamboyance.

-- Jesus himself never mentioned homosexuality in the Bible. This is an issue on which even the most fundamental Christians typically agree.

-- Homosexuality is not a mental illness, though it was once thought to be one due to biased research. The American Psychiatric and Psychological Associations removed homosexuality from their list of mental illnesses in 1973 and 1975, respectively. Instead, they now believe attempts to change sexual orientation in so-called "conversion therapy" are unhealthy.

-- Many, if perhaps not most, of gays and lesbians realize their difference or sexual orientation at a young age.

"The median age at which lesbian and gay youth become aware that their feelings of "difference" are linked to a same-sex sexual orientation is 13."
- James Sears, Growing Up Gay in the South

-- The word 'homosexual' was invented in 1869 by Hungarian Karoly Maria Benkert, who also invented normalsexual as what was left after singling out homosexual. - XY Survival Guide, pg 32

-- Gays were some of the first people to be sent to Nazi concentration camps. Gay prisoners were forced to wear pink triangles so the Nazis could easily identify them. - pg. 34

-- The first recorded story ever, "The Epic of Gilgamesh," has a homoerotic storyline. - pg. 32

-- In 1948, Dr. Alfred Kinsey published a report called the "Sexual Behavior of the Human Male." In 1953, he published "Sexual Behavior of the Human Female." These studies found that 25% of males and 10% of females were "more than incidentally homosexual." Since then, the study's assertion that 10% of all people are gay has been totally distorted, since the 10% represents only those who identify as completely gay and does not include those that are somewhat gay-identified or bisexual. - pg. 35

-- The following includes famous gay, lesbian, and bisexual people: Socrates (philosopher), Plato (philosopher), Alexander the Great (Macedonian king and conqueror), Lord Byron (poet), Walt Whitman (poet), Leonardo Da Vinci (Renissance man), Oscar Wilde (writer), Tchaikovsky (composer), Ernst Rohm (Nazi leader), George Gershwin (pianist), Pasolini (Italian director), Andy Warhol (artist), Ian McKellen (actor, roles include Magneto, Gandalf, etc.), Barney Frank (Democratic congressman), Clive Barker (writer, remember Hellraiser movies?), Pete Townshend (lead singer of the Who), David Bowie (singer), Gus Van Sant (filmmaker), Julius III (emperor), Donatello (artist), Franz Schubert (composer), Henry David Thoreau (philosopher, peace activist), Chief Crazy Horse (Ogala Sioux chief), Georgia O'Keefe (artist), Tracy Chapman (singer), Angelina Jolie (actress, bisexual), Giorgio Armani (fashion designer), Marc Almond (remember that song "Tainted Love"), Freddy Mercury (singer, Queen), and many many more. Far too many for me to list here.

Likewise, there are far too many facts and quotes for me to type here. I've already wasted enough of your time, if you've bothered to read all this. I'll end with a Biblical quote, since many of us like to take parts of the Bible out of context anyway.

"Hear the word of the Lord, you who tremble at his word: 'Your brethren who hate you and cast you out for my name's sake have said, "Let the Lord be glorified, and that we may see your joy"; but it is they who shall be put to shame." Isaiah 66:5

Picture of the Day

I found this picture on a blog written by two guys named Josh & Josh. There is nothing more to say because the banner in the picture explains it very well.

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Long-Distance Relationships...

Men: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. Or to be more precise, boyfriends. This paraphrased expression relates well to the problematic issue of long distance relationships, because if you and your partner have the geographical misfortune of living (as little as a few hours or at most a few states) apart, whether you realize it or not, that opening sentence takes on an entirely real context.

Perhaps you're in a situation where you and your boyfriend have been together for a while and all of a sudden the path of life tends to pull one or the other of you in different directions. Some random turn of events can sometimes have the power to decide the fate of a couple. For instance, if a man is being relocated across the country due to a promotion at work, and his boyfriend is doing just fine in his present career, do they end up going their separate ways?

For some of our younger readers, perhaps you've had a boyfriend all thru high school and before you know it graduation time has rolled around and its off to college. Sometimes young lovers are forced to go separate ways because they end up attending different colleges in different cities, states, or even on different continents. Does this mean that the relationship has to end?

Then there's the situation that quite a few gay men find ourselves in. I am, indeed, including myself in this group. Perhaps the town or city you live in is a rather small environment and finding a boyfriend isn't as easy as it is for the straights. Or perhaps you feel awkward approaching another man due to shyness. Maybe its simply thru a twist of cyber-fate. Whatever the reason you find yourself cruising the online personals and you find someone who you're really attracted to, and you find out that they are attracted to you, as well. This is all well and good until you find out they live not in the next town or down the street, but IN ANOTHER STATE! Does this mean that persuing a relationship is hopeless?

What can one do in such a situation? Is the relationship worth pursuing or should we just forget about it and part ways? Or, in the case of us that meet each other online do we simply throw up our hands and say "It ain't worth it."? I certainly don't think that if you love someone you throw that all away over an issue as trivial as distance.

"Nothing is trivial... Love will always find a way."
Brandon Lee, The Crow

1) What is a long-distance relationship?

I suppose the answer to that question is relative to the person. Personally speaking, long-distance relationships are defined by the fact that your partner, geographically, is too remote to physically spend time with on a daily basis. By this definition, two hours of driving is the same 10 hours. 90 miles is the same as 500.

The phrase "spending time" can take on numerous meanings as well. The first connotation is obviously sex. But think about it from this perspective; do you and boyfriend live together already? Would you live together if you were in the same city? Unless you answered a resounding YES!!!! to this question with zero hesitation, then odds are you wouldn't live together in which case it would be unlikely that you would have sex everyday.

Some of the other meanings behind "spending time" together that aren't as awesome as sex, but still daily pleasures would be; having a coffee break together, having lunch together, realizing that there's a new sale at the local this and that and it'd be SO awesome to go together, catching a movie on the spur of the moment...to me, these are the things that would make long-distance relationships a real strain.
Sex is great. But if you think that sex is the bond that holds a relationship together, then you really need to think again. If you think sex is the major bond in a long-distance relationship then you REALLY better think again. Sex is the act...love is the bond and strength of a relationship.

When it comes to the bond,...have you ever stretched a rubber band between two pencils so that its almost at its maximum strain? It doesn't matter how wide, or thick, or resiliant that rubber band is. Over time you begin to see stress marks, then it kinda stinks like burning tires, then you see tears in the surface and then SNAP!!!! Its broken. Certainly, the love between two people is stronger than a simple rubber band, but the analogy is accurate. How do you maintain and reinforce that bond so it stays as strong today as it ever was?

2) How do you make a long-distance relationship work?

There are an infinite number of answers here, probably. Ranging from the hopefully optimistic to the woefully pessimistic.

The quintessential element in making a long-distance relationship work, must be communication. If you have unlimited long-distance then use that damned service to full effect. If the phone is a bad option, and you have a cell then text message each other. Instant message with each other, email each other. For a personal touch, include hand-written letters to each other on occasion - seeing your loved one's written hand can mean as much as them setting right beside you. What's better than a sappy "Love Always" written in your boyfriend's handwritting? Webcams, turn those things on and talk to each other...have a meal together. The great destroyer of a long-distance relationship is having your boyfriend so far away and then never hearing from them. In todays age of technology, communicating is too great a tool not to use it.

Second, plan trips to see each other. As often as time will permit. And, within obvious reason. College students are at college for a reason. People relocate to different jobs for a reason. And you're living in one portion of the country and your boyfriend is in another for a reason. Those reasons don't need to be neglected anymore than your relationship does. Attend and study in your classes with maximum effort, bust your ass at the new job, take care of the things that life is dealing you. But there are long weekends. There are holidays (to which family attendance isn't required). There is vacation time - what would be better than spending a week with your boyfriend on vacation? Find a concert that's playing at a local venue and go together. In the case of the two proprietors of this blog, find a NASCAR race and attend together. Its a mistake to say that there's not any free time, and I'm as prone to say that as the next person. The free time is there, you just have to take advantage of it.

Lastly, the issue of sex. Sex is a very important part of a relationship. And, as much as I hate to add this, becuase it will group men in a stereotype, I believe the issue of sex is more important to two men than it is to two women. As this blog is devoted primarly to gay men, I'm not going to include you straight folk in this - most sorry. Men, genetically speaking, have a more intense sex drive. That said, our minds (and you can decide which mind that is, big head or little head) and bodies need sexual attention. Sexual release releases endorphines into the blood stream, therefore making us feel more relaxed and just good, in general. Why the sex-ed lesson? Becuase if we, as men, don't achieve sexual release on a regular basis, we become very UPTIGHT creatures.

So, how do you manage the issue of sex from a distance? Of course, the times when you're able to get together and enjoy each other's company, you can also,...er, enjoy each other's company. But, those other times how do you fill in the blanks? This goes back to the whole communication thing, kind of. Phone sex, if you're boyfriend is as into pleasing you as he would be if you were sharing the same bed, can send you over the top during a phone sex session. Turn on the web-cam. How hot is it watch your boyfriend stroking his manhood, and knowing he's watching you as well, thinking of you while you're thinking of him? Watching him climax at the same time you do?! Its arousing just thinking about it.

But, then there's the biggie. Is what you share with your boyfriend true love or a simple infatuation?

3) What is love?

Now that's a loaded question, if I've ever seen one! What indeed is love? This is one that you and your boyfriend will have to work thru on your on. No one but the two of you will truly know whether you're sharing full-blown love, puppy love, or are in love with the idea of being in love.

If you've been together for a period of time and suddenly find yourselves having to part company, then you'll likely know whether you're in love or not. If you've met someone via the internet and have yet to meet, then that first get together will give you some inclination as to whether you may ultimately love each other or not.

This topic is so personal, that it's up to the two men to make the call. If in the depths of your hearts you feel strongly enough for each other - so strongly that your boyfriend's name is on your lips everyday, that you think of them before you lie down at night, you wonder what they're doing at this very moment and wishing you could share that time with them - odds are love is there or well on its way.

4) Aberrant behavior.

DISCLAIMER: First the definition of aberrant: (a.) Wandering from; deviating from an established rule. As I've said thru so much of this post, its really up to you and your partner to decide just exactly what boundaries are acceptable. Should those particular rules vary simply becuase a relationship is long-distance? Not in my opinion. The term "rule" may bring to mind a domineering personality, but that isn't the case. Everyone has standards that they find either acceptable or un-acceptable within a relationship. Ruley or un-ruley, if you will.

I was told once that men can't be faithful to each other. Its just not in our make-up. I think that is the most singularly STUPID statement that I have ever heard. A man may chose to be unfaithful, but claiming that all men are incapable of being faithful...please!

What's acceptable in a relationship? I've known of couples that have sex more with other people than they do each other. Is this healthy? Probably not, but we'll leave that for another post. Is it sound for a relationship? Not for me. To me having sex with someone other than your boyfriend, pretty much means things are over and you won't have to worry about the relationship any longer. Is that type of behavior acceptable for other couples? That's for you to decide.

Is it ok for you and your boyfriend to watch porn and masturbate while you're apart?...

Would you get upset if your boyfriend had lunch with a friend (who happens to be gay) on occasion, while you're apart?...

Would you get upset if your boyfriend became a nude model?...

Yeah, those are simple enough. Personaly speaking anyways. What about these?

Would you get upset if your boyfriend thought having friends-with-benefits is a good idea?...

How would you feel if your boyfriend ran a 1-900... phone sex service to augment his income, or just for fun?...

Perhaps they are easy to answer. Personaly, this is where I'd answer with a big resounding HELL YES!!! it would make me upset. As for other couples. that's up to you and your boyfriend. The point is that the rules you've both set for your relationship don't really change based on distance. If you and your boyfriend find any or all of these (or more than the things listed here) acceptable or un-acceptable while you're together, then it shouldn't be any different when you're apart.

5) A final thought.

There's a gentelman who writes some pretty good online fiction under the name Dewey at www.deweywriter.com . He's said on a couple of occasions that long-distance relationships WILL NOT work. I find it ironic that a man with this attitude can write an online novel, that at its core has such a strong overtone of a relationship surviving over a long-distance. Whatever his reasons for making those statements, they are his opinions. And he's justifiying his opinions, hopefully is the same manner that this post has justified that long-distance relationship WILL work. Which leads to...

This post is essentially opinions. You may or may not agree with them and that's the whole point. If anyone reading this has an opinion on long-distance relationships that you'd like to share, an experience perhaps, then by all means leave a comment. If any of you have questions about long-distance relationships, then feel free to leave comment in that regard. Maybe those of us that are,...shall we say struggling to maintain a long-distance relationship or to get one off the ground will find some hidden treasure in the trade of comments.

Whatever the case, perhaps this will answer some of the questions tugging at the back of you or your boyfriend's mind.

In the end it comes down to the most basic principal - is the love you and your boyfriend share that unbreakable intangible element that true love is supposed to be? Or is that love an illusion?

Why

Do I have to ask why is this still going on in America? I blame the parents I think the hate starts at home!

Singer Kevin Aviance Beaten in New York City
Police Arrest Four People on Hate-Crime Charges
NEW YORK (June 11) - A singer whose songs have topped the Billboard dance chart was attacked by a group yelling anti-gay slurs, and four people were arrested on hate-crime charges, police and his publicist said.
Kevin Aviance, 38, underwent surgery for a broken jaw after the attack Saturday, said his publicist, Len Evans. Police said the singer, whose song "Alive" hit the top of the chart in 2002, was in stable condition.
A group of six or seven men attacked Aviance early Saturday, and passers-by did not stop to help as they threw objects at him, Evans said.
Four people were arrested on charges of first-degree assault as a hate crime, police said. They were identified as Jarell Sears and Akino George, both 20; Gregory Archie, 18; and Gerard Johnson, 16.
Aviance performs in drag but was "dressed like a boy" when he was attacked, Evans said. He had planned to take part in next week's Gay Pride parade and festivities, but will now be unable to perform, the publicist said.
Other popular songs by the singer have included "Give It Up," released in 2004, and "Din Da Da," which topped the Billboard dance chart in 1997.
06/11/06 06:27 EDT

Pride

I think pride in America takes a different point of view when you read stories like this. I think Ryan had a post one time on his blog and he ask why we there helping these people and I have to wonder why myself.

Teen shot to death by Iraqi police on gay prostitution claim
Saturday, May 13, 2006

BAGHDAD, Iraq — Human rights groups are condemning as "barbaric" the shooting of a 14-year-old male who allegedly slept with men for money to support his poverty-stricken family, the Independent reported May 5. Witnesses said the youth was shot after men in police uniforms accosted him based on the allegations, the newspaper reported. The teen’s death came during a surge in homophobic killings by Iraqi state security services and religious militias following an anti-gay fatwa issued by Iraq’s most prominent Shia leader, Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani. Ali Hili, the coordinator of Abu Nawas, a group of exiled Iraqi gay men who monitor homophobic attacks inside Iraq, told the Independent that the fatwa had instigated a "witch-hunt for lesbian and gay Iraqis, including violent beatings, kidnappings and assassinations." The boy’s family fled the area fearing further reprisals, the newspaper reported. Hili said U.S. coalition forces are unwilling to address the issue. "They just don’t want to upset the Iraqi government by bringing up the taboo of homosexuality even though homophobic murders have intensified," he said. Darla Jordan, from the U.S. State Department said, "The U.S. government continues to work closely with our Iraqi partners to ensure the protection of human rights and the safety of all Iraqi citizens."

Macy? What have you done?

Now, I don't shop at that particular store. I think I may have bought something from Macy's once in my life and that was it. Always thought they were overpriced and snooty. Well this just proves it. Just check this out from Joey Destino's site (plus a great letter from him as well.)



Joey isn't the only one. I found this on Brad's Aman Yala site. And also, try Towelroad as well for more indepth looks at what's going on.

Now, you would think that Macy's, long associated with the in fashionables would realize that caving into the small minded conservatives would be a bad idea wouldn't you? What gay man doesn't like to go shopping, at least stereotypically. I don't really like their style of fashion persey, but I know a lot who do and the more gay men that know about this....I think that's going to be the less money coming through Macy's doors until there is an appology.

Senate rejects gay marriage ban

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Senate on Wednesday rejected a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, dealing an embarrassing defeat to President Bush and Republicans who hoped to use the measure to energize conservative voters on Election Day.
ON DEADLINE: USA TODAY's Andrea Stone reports

Supporters knew they wouldn't achieve the two-thirds vote needed to approve a constitutional amendment, but they had predicted a gain in votes over the last time the issue came up, in 2004. Instead, they lost one vote for the amendment in a procedural test tally.

Wednesday's 49-48 vote fell 11 short of the 60 required to send the matter for an up-or-down tally. The 2004 vote was 50-48.

Supporters lost two key "yes" votes — one from Sen. Judd Gregg, R-N.H., who has changed his mind since 2004, and another from Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-Neb., who did not vote this time because he was traveling with Bush.

Gregg said that in 2004, he believed the Massachusetts Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage in that state would undermine the prerogatives of other states, like his, to prohibit such unions.

"Fortunately, such legal pandemonium has not ensued," Gregg said in a statement. "The past two years have shown that federalism, not more federal laws, is a viable and preferable approach."

A majority of Americans define marriage as a union of a man and a woman, as the proposed amendment does, according to a poll out this week by ABC News. But an equal majority opposes amending the Constitution on this issue, the poll found.

"Most Americans are not yet convinced that their elected representatives or the judiciary are likely to expand decisively the definition of marriage to include same-sex couples," said Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., a possible presidential candidate in 2008. He told the Senate on Tuesday he does not support the amendment.

The tally Wednesday put the ban 18 votes short of the 67 needed for the Senate to approve a constitutional amendment.

But the defeat is by no means the amendment's last stand, said its supporters.

"I do not believe the sponsors are going to fall back and cry about it," said Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah. "I think they are going to keep bringing it up."

The House plans a redux next month, said Majority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio.

"This is an issue that is of significant importance to many Americans," Boehner told reporters. "We have significant numbers of our members who want a vote on this, so we are going to have a vote."

The defeat came despite daily appeals for passage from Bush, whose standing is troubled by sagging poll numbers and a dissatisfied conservative base.

The Vatican also added muscle to the argument Tuesday, naming gay marriage as one of the factors threatening the traditional family as never before.

Democrats said the debate was a divisive political ploy.

"The Republican leadership is asking us to spend time writing bigotry into the Constitution," said Sen. Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts, which legalized gay marriage in 2003. "A vote for it is a vote against civil unions, against domestic partnership, against all other efforts for states to treat gays and lesbians fairly under the law."

In response, Hatch fumed: "Does he really want to suggest that over half of the United States Senate is a crew of bigots?"

Forty-five of the 50 states have acted to define traditional marriage in ways that would ban same-sex marriage — 19 with constitutional amendments and 26 with statutes.

The amendment would prohibit states from recognizing same-sex marriages. To become ratified, it would need two-thirds support in the Senate and House, and then would have to be ratified by at least 38 state legislatures.

Seven Republicans, many from New England, voted to kill the amendment. They were Sens. Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island, Susan Collins of Maine, Judd Gregg of New Hampshire, John McCain of Arizona, Olympia Snowe of Maine, Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania and John Sununu of New Hampshire.

Ben Nelson of Nebraska, the only Democratic senator who supports the amendment, voted "yes." The only other Democrat to vote in favor of moving forward with an up-or-down vote Wednesday, Robert Byrd of West Virginia, opposes the amendment itself.

Three senators did not vote: Democrats Christopher Dodd of Connecticut and John Rockefeller of West Virginia, and Republican Chuck Hagel of Nebraska.


Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Posted 6/7/2006 10:49 AM ET
Updated 6/7/2006 11:51 AM ET

USA TODAY

V.J.'s Take: Hugs!

I never knew how important hugs were in cheering up people until I got one from my cousin, a very cute guy to say the least. To clarify, I love my cousin as a family member and my blood relative so there is nothing sexual when I think of him but I never knew I was going to wear a smile on my face the whole days just because I gave him a hug when I saw him for the first time in YEARS... Back in 2002.

It got me thinking on how much a hug can change my mood into a positive one... If I get this happy with my cousin (he's in his late 20's) imagine sharing a hug with a complete male stranger.

For me, hugs are not sexual in nature even if its a first base to it. Its just at times people need an affectionate embrace to share when you are elated with joy or somber by negative emotions. Girls are welcome to hug me but guys are probably a better dose of medicine because of the rarity in society.

This is just another reason why blogging, despite the positive benefits it has given me, should not totally warm-blooded people interaction.

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Senate Takes Up Anti-Gay Amendment Today

(Washington) Debate begins today in the Senate on the proposed constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex marriage with President George W. Bush expected to make his second appeal in three days for its passage.

Bush has scheduled a Rose Garden media session where he will be surrounded by supporters of the amendment, many of them from evangelical groups that have pushing Republicans for six years to pass the measure.

On Saturday the President used his weekly radio address to call for the amendment's passage. (story)

"Marriage cannot be cut off from its cultural, religious and natural roots without weakening this good influence on society," Bush said.

The address was assailed by LGBT rights groups and the Democratic Party. In a keynote address to National Stonewall Democrats, DNC Chair Howard Dean accused Bush of supporting the introduction of "legalized discrimination in our Constitution." (story)

Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese accused the President of dividing the nation.

"President Roosevelt started these radio addresses to unite Americans and President Bush is using them as a tool to divide us as a nation," said Solmonese.

Matt Foreman, the Executive Director, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force accused Bush of pandering to the religious right.

"If this were just a political game, it would be one thing. But this is also hurting real families solely to score political points," he said.

In New York State, where justices of the Court of Appeals are considering whether to overturn the state ban on gay marriage, the Executive Director, Empire State Pride Agenda said that the President’s attack on the judiciary is unbefitting of the office he holds.

"There’s nothing activist about courts interpreting state constitutions to protect the civil rights of individuals and families. In fact, that’s the reason we have a Constitutional system in the first place," said Alan Van Capelle.

New York is one of three states where gay marriage has reached the high court. The others are New Jersey and Washington.

Hundreds of New Yorkers took part in a wedding march across the Brooklyn Bridge on Saturday to show their opposition to the proposed amendment. In San Francisco on Saturday about 100 people walked across Golden Gate Bridge in support of gay marriage.

But if gays and Democrats were angry the GOP isn't faring much better with conservative Christians, the party's base.

Joe Glover, president of the Family Policy Network, called today's debate a "dog-and-pony show".

"It's too little, too late," he told the Los Angeles Times.

"Increasingly, social conservatives expect real action, not just politically timed attempts to motivate and organize the base," said Gary Glenn of the American Family Association of Michigan.

Most political observers believe the proposed amendment will fare worse than it did in 2004 when it failed to get enough votes to proceed.

The measure was reintroduced this year.

The proposed amendment would bar same-sex couples from marrying, block courts and state legislatures allowing gay marriage, nullify marriages already performed in Massachusetts - the only state in the country where they are currently legal - and according to critics possibly block civil unions and override domestic partner laws.

The amendment was introduced by Senator Wayne Allard and reads: "Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution, nor the constitution of any State, shall be construed to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any union other than the union of a man and a woman."

The Associated Press reported Sunday that supporters of the amendment in the Senate are having a hard time securing 50 votes, let alone the super majority of 67 it would need to advance.

©365Gay.com 2006